debriefing

My body wants to sleep, my brain wants to debrief.  Since the laundry is still in the dryer, my brain wins and I will hopefully be able to sort some things out.  Sorry if I ramble, I just need to sort right now.  Now that I've given the disclaimer, I have to figure out where to start.  It's been a long week.

Criticism.  None of us like it.  No one sits around and thinks, "Gee, I hope I get criticized today."  The two hardest types of criticism  (at least in my opinion) are 1. being criticized about my parenting and 2. being criticized by someone I love.  Not gonna lie, I've had my share of both.  I found myself rather angry recently.  I found myself actually shouting my prayers that day.  Hot angry tears fell from my eyes and I was grateful to be alone because I yelled my conversation with God.  Let me clarify that I wasn't angry with God (this time), but He got the abuse I couldn't lash out on the critic.  I'm so thankful He is big enough to handle it!

As I yelled and cried and pretty much threw a temper tantrum with God, I felt Him ask me whose opinion mattered, His or peoples.  I responded with His and He once again asked me to pray for someone who I didn't want to pray for.  I sometimes think adversity comes to me simply because the other person involved needs to be prayed for.  That always seems to be the answer I get from the Lord when I complain about the actions or words of others.  PRAY.  Yep, that's the constant answer, just pray for them.  One of my friends email signature says, "Be kinder than necessary because everyone is fighting their own battle." I don't WANT to be kind.  I WANT to be angry.  I want to yell and scream and lash out and let everyone know who hurt me and how.  And my Savior gently says, "Pray for them.  Your ranting won't change them, only I can." 

Even worse is when He shows me that it isn't the other person that needs to change, it's the one driving down the road yelling at the top of her lungs at God. I still think, this time anyway, that I'm right.  My feelings are still a little hurt.  In the grand scheme of things though, I am lifting the other person and the situation up in prayer.  And just so you know, even though I'm praying for the other person, I'm learning alot about me.  I'm learning that the only person who can judge my heart (or the hearts of others), the only one whose opinion TRULY matters, is the Father's and it is His approval that I need to seek not the approval of others.  Now to put it into practice.........
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Bullies.  There is a student at my son's school that seems to have a bullying problem.  I'm a little confused as to how this student achieves the bullying though with the teachers always thinking that the fault lies with the other student involved.  It seems to never be the bullys fault, at least in the times I've witnessed.  I'm sadly amazed at the level of manipulation that I see eminating from this 7 year old child.

 Somehow this child has the teachers thinking that the other students all pick on this student not the other way around.  I'm annoyed by it but don't really see how it is something I can actually change.  I don't see all day in the classroom, only just over an hour once every week.  I don't see enough to know if this behavior is consistent or just when I am around.  I feel, maybe, a bit biased though because my son is one of the people this student likes to make fun of and my friends daughter is another person that this student seems to want to make life miserable for.

How do you handle bullying with your child?  How do you teach your child it is ok to speak up for yourself and defend yourself while at the same time teaching your child the fruits of the spirit; love, joy, peace, patience, kindness,goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control? How do you teach your child to be Christ like and yet also teach your child that it is ok to get someone to help you when you can't handle a situation anymore?  How do you simultaneously teach turning the other cheek and personal boundaries?  Teaching my kids the alphabet is the easy part of this job; teaching them how to have healthy and godly relationships is much harder.
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I still have so many thoughts swirling around in my head but I am so very tired that I am starting to have trouble typing.  I think I debriefed the main things on my heart though so until next time..........