Friday, February 28, 2014

laughter is good medicine

I've had a few of those conversations lately.  You know, those ones that leave you scratching your head and wondering why no one ever told you that kids say the darndest things.  Last week trauma took over our house when our middle son discovered that his boy turtle is actually a girl turtle.  Um, yeah, she laid 7 eggs in the bottom of her tank.  Having never seen turtle eggs, I personally thought it was cool that our turtle had laid eggs.  My son however, not so much.

First there was a panic that we would need to rename Bob since he is a girl.  I talked him off of that ledge by telling him about a friend of mine named Bobbie who we used to call Bob.  Bob is a perfectly acceptable name for a girl turtle, we don't have to rename her.  He thought about it and then accepted that answer.  Whew, disaster averted, Bob can still be Bob!

Then he asked when the eggs would hatch so we would have baby turtles.  Uh, son, no baby turtles because there isn't a male turtle to fertilize the eggs.  These are empty eggs, no babies.  It seemed simple enough but again, my son did not see it as simply as I did.  Hysteria of mass proportions ensued.  (This is only a SLIGHT exaggeration.  Seriously people, this was his definition of something truly traumatic in his life!) I hugged my boy through sobs of

"Mooooooooom, it just issssssssn't faaaaaaaair that Bob caaaaaan't haaaaaaaave her baaaaaaaaaabies just becauuuuuuuse they don't haaaaaaaave a daaaaaaaad!"

Yeah, the sobbing made each syllable stretch to three.  It would have been comical if he hadn't been so devestated.  The next day my scientifically minded son asked if we could take the eggs to someone who has a boy turtle to get them fertilized and I had to explain that the eggs get fertilized BEFORE they are laid so there was no way to have them fertilized.  We had a highly scientific discussion about turtle reproduction.  The boy who had been a puddle of tears the night before was fine. I now know far more about breeding turtles than I ever thought I  would need to know.  Thanks Google, you're a lifesaver!

And then there was last night.  Spring is definitely coming to Colorado.  It is evidenced in our completely bipolar weather.  Windows down in the morning, snow in the evening, sun and warmth again the next day. We are more than ready for spring to be in full swing. My oldest looked at me last night and says, "Stupid groundhog seeing his shadow and giving us two more weeks of winter." Then this conversation happened.....

Me: Actually, Son, we get SIX more weeks of winter when the groundhog sees his shadow.  And not stupid groundhog.  Stupid weatherman for giving a rodent the authority to predict our weather!

E (middle child): Mom, what do they do when the groundhog dies?

Me: I suppose they get a new one.

E: Do they tell the new one that the old one died?

awkward silence

Me: ummmmmmm

E: Well, they really should.  He should know he is replacing a dead guy.

I love and adore my life. I know I can't pause time, but I can record it here.  I can remember the conversations that made me laugh and the ones that would have made me laugh if I weren't holding a crying boy. Soon these conversations will be history so today I will savor them....... and laugh.

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