Friday, January 16, 2015

Dreaming in 2015

I really didn't plan to take on a "word" again this year. Last year I chose the word hope. I choose a word out of desperation. I chose the word I needed more than anything in the world. I didn't really think directly about my word for much of the year and yet I experienced hope on levels I hadn't known in years. For the first time in recent memory I celebrated Christmas feeling hope and I brought in the New Year with peace and anticipation.

As 2014 drew to a close, I pondered the year, it's accomplishments and hurts. I looked forward to 2015 and mentally decided that I didn't have a word jumping out at me and that it's OK to not be trendy and it's OK to not have a word for my year.

Just as quickly as I decided I felt a tugging on my heart. I felt God asking me, ever so gently, to put my hands in his and dream again. And instantly I knew that I was going to have a word for 2015. Dream.

This is a big step for me. Somewhere along the way of growing up I traded dreams for reality. I let the hurts of life steal my ability to dream. When my life turned upsidedown a few years ago, I refused to allow myself to dream because dreaming big leaves you open to being hurt big. I was too hurt to have any desire to do anything other than curl into my self and protect my heart from further damage.

So this year, I choose to speak from a place of healing. I choose to open my heart and dream again. I'm taking the steps, dusting off the cobwebs in the unused room of my heart, putting my hands in God's and allowing him to lead me to new dreams. I'm terrified but I'm also excited.  I'm ready for an adventure and can't wait to see where this path leads.

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