Wednesday, October 7, 2009

my overactive brain

I have a lot on my mind.  Not particularly bad or good, just lots of stuff.  Like for instance, how do I get my blog to not automatically upload to facebook?  I'd rather link it there myself, then it would show up under links instead of notes. And how do I get my spell check back on my blog instead of word strike?  I don't like typos and don't want to see them on my blog. Plus there is a fair amount of words that I regularly misspell that you the reader would have no idea thanks to spell check!  See, not glamorous, just on my mind. 

Other things like, why is my first grade son doing homework for nearly 2 hrs at least once a week?  Will the day ever come that he does not reverse his s,b,d,7, or 3??????  And on that note, how much of what he tells me from school actually happens?  Today while he was climbing in at pick up time, his teacher opened the door and was telling me something.  I asked her a question and she looked at W rather quizzically and asked, "Where in your amazing imagination do you come up with these stories you are telling your mom?"  So, did he really get a cookie from Mr. Victor the lunchroom guy on his birthday? Very possibly.  Did everyone really get one?  Doubt it.  Does the mom of one of his friends who occasionally helps in the classroom really sometimes grab a students arm and squeeze very hard often resulting in a red hand for a moment to get them to calm down?  Not sure, but concerning if it is true.   Don't you wish there was a for your kids school day?  It would be so easy to weed out the rumor stories right away!

Another school thought, yesterday W's pants split in the crotch during gym class.  He told me he just avoided girls all day because he was embarrassed.  I asked when it happened and the rough answer was right after lunch.  I would have gladly left my "mommy playdate" to bring him new pants.  He was so embarrassed!  He said that his teachers thought his pants would be fine until school let out so they didn't call me.  Again, I'd like to hear the whole story.  Did it happen with only an hour or less of school left and they didn't see it being worth the trip?  Odd little tidbits that don't exactly make 2+2=4. 

On Friday he hit his best friend with a bat.  How do you explain that??????  I mean I wouldn't condone it by any means but I would at least understand it if it was someone he didn't like or even one of his brothers.  That's what siblings seem to do.  But his best friend?  The kid he begs every day to carpool with, the one who W cried when he found out they were in different 1st grade classes?  I'm kinda at a loss.  I mean, W's a pretty good kid for the most part.  Usually his bigger "imperfections" are only completely unleashed when it is just us as a family.  This is abnormal.  So I guess that leads me to the question, what is going on in his little brain?  How can I help him to navigate through it all? 

Though it seems as though I said a lot of negative about W just now, I have to say, I am dang proud of that kid!  He is such an amazing joy, even when he is being a booger.  His school does a "stoplight" form of behavioral chart.  Green = good behavior, yellow = less than great behavior and red = poor behavior/consequence.  Then there is the ever elusive silver.  Silver is reserved for going above and beyond the call of duty at school.  W has always been green, that is, until last Monday.  As his teacher put him in the car on Monday, she told me, "W's planner won't reflect this because it happened at the very end of the day, but he is on silver!  He has the opportunity to be silver all week.  This is also the first time we have ever awarded silver on a Monday!"  W was bursting with pride, so was his mama.     ;-)   He told me in the car that his teachers said that there was someone who had done really great for the past few days and as soon as she said that, he knew it was him.  It was a bit difficult to congratulate him and ask him how he felt about it and not equate pride with the action.  I am always proud of him, not just when he does well in school.  I want to convey that so I make sure when I tell him I'm proud that I tell him I'm proud of his character rather than his actions.  Make sense?  So I told him that I knew he had worked hard to get to silver and that his hard work paid off.  I asked him if he was proud of that accomplishment and reaffirmed that I thought it was great that he had tried so hard and succeeded.  It was much harder to put into practice than I thought it would be.  I let him know how special getting silver was while the whole time focusing on who he is not on what he did.  That is one difficult parenting truth though!  I so wanted to scream from the rooftops how proud I was that my son was the first kid to get silver on Monday.  I think I gave it just the right amount of attention, he seemed to be very pleased with how I handled it.

My blog is getting rather long and I've probably lost the interest of nearly everyone.  I still have thoughts though.  Like for instance, when did my grammar get sub par and my sentences turn into run ons and when did I start beginning sentences with but, and, or so?  I don't think I mind.  I like my writing but I think because I still hear my jr high and high school English teacher, Mrs. Wille,  in my ear telling me that I shouldn't start my sentence that way, it still feels as though I am being naughty!  I know, just revealing my dorkiness to everyone, got it!

I'm also discovering that while I still despise conflict, I handle it much better that I used to.  I have a mental conflict right now.  There are people who I don't understand and sometimes don't want to understand.  I feel like there is a close to even split as to if there will be peace or conflict when we engage. I don't want to have conflict and I find myself stressing about how to talk to those who bring out conflict in me.  Did any of that make sense?

I think I have rambled my thoughts enough for one night.  I don't want to ramble so much that people quit reading the handful of coherent thoughts that I do have. So (see, I just did it again!), I think I'll head off to dreamland, get some rest and have more coherent thoughts tomorrow after I've had coffee!  I may not share them all, but rest assured, I will at least have a few of them throughout the day tomorrow :)

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