At the exact moment that I have been certain that I cannot make it for one more second, God sends exactly what I need. Two weeks ago, when Hubby and I were trying to figure out budget and groceries, my pastors wife called. I wasn't planning on answering but she doesn't call often and I was hoping all was ok. Our church had been given a donation of groceries and they wanted to know if we would be able to use them. It was a blessing that happened right as we were stressing about money.
A week and a half ago He sent me Sarah to take my kids overnight and refuse to be paid for it. That happened at the exact moment that I was sure I was never meant to be a mom and that I'm terrible at it and am going scar and ruin my children for life. It was a blessing, and one that happened at the end of my mothering rope.
A few days passed and I opened my mailbox to find an envelope from an anonymous sender with a King Soopers (grocery store for those of you east coasters who go to Piggly Wiggly and Shop and Save!) gift card in it. It was a blessing that happened right at the moment that my bank account was overdrawn.
Another day passed and I found a Starbucks gift card in my wallet, and I had already used up my birthday gift cards and there were none in my wallet before. Now Starbucks is far from necessary but it was a beautiful pick me up when I called to get a balance on it and found out that there was the exact amount on it needed to get 2 coffees! It was a blessing that happened just when I thought how good a vanilla latte sounded and was settling for home brew instead.
Then today, how do I explain today? I can tell you about it but words will never do justice the relief and emotion that we felt. Maybe I should back track a little and give some history first. 3 weeks ago, Hubby's car failed emissions. Repairs were going to be over $500 but when weighed we realized that the car is really on its last leg. The heater doesn't work and here in Colorado winter is already trying to grip us, we had snow on the last day of summer! The car is nearing 200k miles, 2 seatbelts are broken, the check engine light lives in the on position. So we consulted with our mechanic and unanimously decided that our $ would be better spent in getting a new car. We got a 20 day extension on our tags and set off to find a new (to us) car. Problem, we didn't dare apply for financing when our bank account was negative! BAD idea! So we waited for payday so our acct would be positive and we could apply to Target's credit union and hopefully get our loan through them. Payday came and we didn't have the money to open our acct so it was going to have to wait one more pay cycle. Maybe we could extend our tags just one more time so that we could buy time in the new vehicle hunt. No dice. Our car, I was told, has been red flagged by the state because it failed emissions. If we drive the car and get stopped, the car will be impounded and we will not be allowed to drive it! Yikes! So Mom and Dad to the rescue, they let us borrow their 2nd car to get us through this. Tomorrow is payday and we are starting to try to figure out how we can get either the CU acct going and get a loan that way or if we just have to bite the bullet and get dealer financing at a heck of an interest rate.
Now that you have the history, here is today. It is my friends birthday. I asked Hubby if I could spend a couple of dollars to get her a coffee. We agree that I can get only one so of course it would be for her. Went to King Soopers, wrote my check for over so that I could buy my friend coffee. Chillin at home when the mail arrives, I pause Survivor and go grab it. There were only 4 things in my mailbox. The first is addressed to me, I open it to find a ransom note style letter that told me that it was a reminder that God is in control and that I'm loved. As I was reading it, some cash fell out of the envelope and hit my lap. I looked at it and smiled and thought, it's all going to work out and now I can now enjoy coffee with my friend for her birthday! Isn't it great when God gives us those reminders that He will provide?
The 2nd letter is addressed to my family and I open it to find a small sticky note that said, "God is good" on a large money order. I started to hyperventilate at this point! Hubby was next door hanging out with his dad and I had to go grab him to show him. I didn't know if it was all real! It was a wonderful blessing that happened on the day after we had discussed how this whole car thing is supposed to play out and how we could ever get anything at all to put toward it.
The other 2 items were small in theory but HUGE to me. They were magazines for my kids. My mom had ordered my kids magazines a yr ago. They both have sent me notices saying that we had received our last issue unless we renewed. My mom got one of them again this yr but it will come addressed to all the boys and the other one we let slide. The magazines were addressed individually to both boys. See I know that no more should be coming, yet they came one last time. It was as though God was saying, "See, I'm going to take care of your kids too." I was amazed at the sweet and gentle way that the Lord provided for us during this last month. He has never failed us. I am more than ever aware that we are not the ones who meet our needs, He is. And not only has the Lord met our big needs, He even remembered the little details of a vanilla latte and a couple of magazines, things we don't need but are nice to have. As I said in my facebook status earlier, I am both awed and humbled that the God of the universe takes the time to see that my families needs are met, even the little tiny ones! I am also awed and humbled at the incredible generosity of secret friends without whom we would have possibly sank this month! Thanks to you if you are one of our secret givers, you will never know how much you have blessed our family!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!