Friday, March 26, 2010

broken

I have only a few short minutes and cannot truly give this the attention I need to but I must give it some attention before my heart breaks further and I explode into thousands of tiny pieces.  My friend today lost her baby girl.  Baby Lylac was due to enter the world on April 26, instead she will enter it today March 26.....stillborn.  My friend must still labor and deliver a child who she will never hear cry.  I cannot fathom the pain of this loss.  I miscarried once, but I lost my child the day after I discovered I was with child.  I hurt so unbelievably during that time and I did not have months of pregnancy, of planning, a nursery decorated, and my child named.  I have friends who have lost children as well, early after birth.  But those friends had months of preparing to grieve.  They knew in advance that the child they carried would not live and though they still had to walk through the pain, they expected the pain.  My friend did not.  Last week I received the invitation to her baby shower.  Things seemed to be going well.  Then yesterday she started to worry when she wasn't feeling the baby.  Visiting the doctor confirmed every mothers worst fear, her child had died.  How do you comfort this?  How do you trust that God is still in control and is still good and not be cliche and insensitive with your words?  I have to go now, I am needed in my son's classroom.  But if today you think of my friend and her husband and 2 little boys, please lift them up before the Father.  And pray for those around her that no one says any of those stupid non-comforting Christianese statements that hurt more than help. 

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