tough questions

The past couple of weeks have brought some awkward questions from my kids and true to form, they didn't ask when dad was home!  First came the one from my 2nd grader.

"Mom, isn't it cool how God made it where babies could actually live in a mommy's stomach?  I mean, I'm just surprised that the stomach acid doesn't just dissolve the baby and that it can stay alive in there!"

Ok, time for the uterus talk, no biggie.  "Son, it's not actually the stomach where the baby is.  Woman have a special part of their body that is under the stomach and bladder called a uterus.  It is a special room just for babies to live in and grow in until it is time to be born.  That is how the stomach acid doesn't destroy the baby because while it is in the mommy's tummy, it is not in her stomach.  It's in her uterus."

Ok, whew, made it through that one pretty well.  Next up?  Oh yeah, my 5 yr old said to me last week, "Mom, how do the babies get out of the mommy's tummy when it is time?"  Ok, again, bigger but managable.  So I pulled out a Christian book called, "How Did God Make Me?"  It is pretty basic, not too much detail but enough.  There are even actual pictures of babies in utero so it is a really cool book.  The end describes it as when the baby has no more room to grow, it travels through a small tunnel called a birth canal to be born.  Ev's comment?  "Yeah, Mom, that's fine but where does the tunnel called a birth canal end for the baby to come out?  I don't understand where the baby can come out of the tunnel."

Sigh and big deep breath.  "It's kinda gross, are you sure you really want to hear?"   After resounding yeses and why wouldn't I want to know comments I told him.  Another sigh and a bigger deep breath.  "Well, the baby comes out from a hole near the woman's potty parts." 

"EEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWW!  I'm NEVER going to get married afterall because I don't ever want my wife to have to push a baby out of her pee pee part!"

"Well, Son, it isn't exactly her pee pee part.  It is a hole near her pee pee part called a vagina.  It is not where she pees from, just close to that area.  The vagina stretches to let the baby come out of the birth canal."

"Ok, so the baby won't get pee on it when it comes out?"

"No, it won't get pee on it."

"And I didn't smell like pee when I was born?"

"No, you didn't because it isn't where a woman pees, the vagina is close but not the same place."

"Ok, I guess if I didn't smell like pee, then that's ok.  It's still gross though."

"I know, sorry!"

Seriously folks!  How many of these will I have to field?  And why is it always so convieniently timed when I'm the only one who can answer?  Isn't that Dad's job?!?!  My mom was horrified that I explained what a vagina was.  "But he's only 5!" was her response. "Did you really have to tell him that?"

Well, yes I did.  He asked a question and I would much rather answer it than have him go find out somewhere else.  Besides, as I pointed out to her, he asked how babies got OUT not how they got IN!  I think I'll definitely save that one for Dad!